Thursday, January 30, 2014

HAHHA hurray! eve of cny.. i dont know i should be happy for the hols or sad because i wont have time for ASSignments ... and i'm feeling kinda shitty yet happy at the same time

had bf w Siew Hui and Danish before lesson at fc 6 just now which was cool and full :)

omw there, saw a few dmat guys, saw kevin, he only glanced w that poker face of his. hmm i dk i feel sad that he isnt smiling as much as he used to .

i wouldnt want to think tt i was because of me that he is like that because, i dont think im tt impt to him to cause him to not smile..again.


"i'm sorry i cant bring a smile to ur face anymore but pls show d world how kind u can be w a smile im sure it would make someone's day :) "

(30/1/14)

maybe. maybe.

then saw eugene when i was buying bf, but i got a feeling he is ignoring me.. and i dont feel good about it.. like yes, i try to lessen my messages to him..i dont want to get to close.. lest the same shit happens again.. so yeah, ive not been very enthu abt replying messages, im sorry


and i ate reunion dinz w my family ytd, so full and abalone was amazing!
 but i got another rant from my dad again, had that sudden urge of escaping by jumping out of the window..
12 storeys high..
 crazy, but the only thing holding me back was conscience and fear of pain

which is shit because i though i would have better control of my thoughts and emotion
but apparently not.

i really wonder if i am depress.. or just that i couldnt organize my thoughts well.

hmm i know i seem to be hanging around different guys lately.. im sorry but i dont want to get too close to one..

same shit just too much to handle

player as i may look but

hey i cant be bothered.
i rather ppl stay away from me.. i never bring anything good.

look at kevin, what have i caused (i know i said i don't think i am as impactful to cause shets)

HAHAH



dad. he is not being considerate

causing me a lil too much stress..
 therefore the stress

and the soon to be depression

 ttyl gotta ollect equipments



i wante to talk alot more, but something blocking my mind again

thanks cu


oh and went to eat w Ted like on the day before ytd, damn awesome man (y)


LOL ALL TT FOOD sharlin






i played a melody at 12:35 PM
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Monday, January 27, 2014

Nou, sometime doesn't mean that i have some time to spare.. im not free like that.. hahah this is another one of those moments where im in a totally wrong but right environment to start blogging about the shit thats stuck in my brain.. not to straighten things out but to just get em out for a while but it doesnt solve a single shit. i just get to know what my shit looks like better.

Like wrong time, but the mood's and the position of me in comparison to the tr is just right for me to blank out and she wouldnt suspect a thing

GDP, my grp members Winnie and Cherry were doing the slides while i was starting up my com.. but i did my portion of drawing and brainstorming and arguing i guess haha

ouhhhh shit the presentation is starting soon.. there's gonna be one long pause (a few minutes) before i come back)

my group's the first to go up ... and i feel like i need to shit

what.



recently, ive been waking up w a knot in my head, a kind of stress that i couldnt quite shake off. every morning, that fear and uncertainty will just be literally gnawing at my head

and im not sure what it is.. maybe im still not over the k situation, but it isnt all abt that.. because it includes a little of assignment stress and the weird stress i feel about meeting people, new or long acquaintance or just humans.. like i wish one day, i could just wake up w o the stress of knowing that u have to speak up and communicate to people.. one to one or a grp.. ttyl presentation time


currently, im trying to not reply as much to people who texts me too much and i dont feel much like talking to (im sorry)

its just redundant.

id very much wna have guy friends but it sucks when they try to flirt or just want to try to get you, i mean, like if they like u a little but theres no sincerity i mean, then please, just stay as friends, jio me out no problem, but i dont want to get too close to you or form some weird rs that will just waste or effort

i mean e and t is currently trying to chat me up and jio me out but no, sorry not interested

or im just abit too full of my self to think that people were actually interested to be in me

im glad i have haz :) like even though we dont tok often, i know he's got my back:)

hmmm yay! im having jap buffet w mah cuz ted tmr:)) happy dappy :)


hope i can get a few drinks and forget about the world hahah

cant wait


its hard to be nice to the people u find the most annoying at times



oh and omw to my gm's ytd, i helped a indonesian maid to bishan.. but i brought her to the wrong red line platform bcus i forgot toapayoh was towards another way ._.

im terribly sorry

D;

oh and i completed a sheep ytd w the package of feltwool i bought from daiso on fri




hmm not much going on, and even if there is more, my poor mind must have auto deleted them


im sorry

i should take time out for reviewing God's word.

i havent been talking to him in forever.


life, will take it's turn and i pray that i'll be able to give God the steering wheel






i played a melody at 11:49 AM
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Thursday, January 23, 2014

sup y'all ive not updated for a very long time, but im not updating now.. just writing to feel some blanks and express my current emotion


pls. im not interested in being in a r/s now.

so stop trying.
i dont deserved to be treated w such care when i couldn't even

salvage a friend i'm concerned so much over

and

i dont want to go through the same
 hurt

everytime someone loses interest.


im busy enough w assignments and loving my friends



and to another you


do u think of me w a smile as well?

or would u cringe in regret

in what could have not been



anyways assignments are kicking my butt and not the other way round and i dont wna screw shit so yeah :)
cya







i played a melody at 12:45 AM
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Wednesday, January 1, 2014

okraights, its 1st Jan today and it doesn't feel like 1st Jan until i remind myself, thats cause.. my assignments are not done /cry/

im starting on draw later HAHA

i feel like doing a review on how 2013 has been?


overall, i learned alot.
i changed alot.

as compared to 2012, i gave up alot, had one of the most consistent roller-coaster rides

found many new amazing songs, laughed alot

Loved alot, lost alot ( but i still think i loved more than i lost)



Before going on, i better turn on a song,

Maybe from The Wanted, cus they came to sg last night and damn was their performance awesome, im a fan already HAHA. Hold on ~


SHE WALKS LIKE RIHANNA!! HAHA i was going high on twitter last night.

My aunt came and left just now, and i got green tea choco pocky :>



Hmm last year, new year.. i remember i was working, so it wasnt much to me, but i met w Sheng Yao (Doggie) and passed him tamago sushi, and he gave me inuyasha key chain :)) and then i also gave 2 makis to Master's family, Kelvin came down to get it :)) and then i met the ssb family <3 :="" ah="" all="" and="" back="" bastard="" be="" boss="" broke="" but="" by="" cam="" chef="" crystal="" damn="" de="" decieved="" didnt="" dishwasher="" dont="" elvin="" emily="" ex="" face="" feb="" from="" funny="" haha="" hahah.="" hahah="" handsome="" has="" he="" head="" her="" him="" his="" how="" howard="" i="" in="" india="" innocent="" is="" joker="" jolly="" jun="" kiss="" learn="" left="" look="" manager="" max="" mr="" ms="" my="" nan="" nbsp="" nd="" one="" other="" p="" pls="" poker="" prankster="" roy="" sam="" sheng="" that="" the="" to="" vice:="" went="" which="" who="" wife="" wrist="" yvonne="">
And i also met my dear Girls (crazy otaku part timers) Pei Yun, Geraldine , Min Xin (pri school bestie) and wow did we go through alot tgt :) now we catch up by going to karaoke sesh ;)
 and also i met Mandisa and her friend Marilyn (super cool knowing them :) Joshua and Lin  OHHH and Adelyn:)) heehee aww man, met alot of great ppl at ssb :)

then Feb was when i got tgt w Ah jun hahah sigh :)

then i celebrated my bade w the otaku gals and adelyn im just so blessed!

then i saw Mr Seah on one of my working days ^^

From feb to march was when i kept going out w Ah Jun, from dinners together w him to,travelling all the way to Kallang for him as spending time together, cuddling and shitz ahaah ass man, then i realized that he was talking to his ex.. then my dad found out , then all came tumbling down,

outings w him became a waste of time,
boring,
he was less sensitive
i was .. not on my own
too positive i guess?
i spent less time w my friends and family

but i was glad though, that he broke up w me.. although i couldnt accept it at first i was heart broken duh but it was for the better, i could still remember fragments of our memories till we started to fall apart, i want to type more but oh well ive got so much more to summaries for 2013

but it was a lesson learnt :) my mum was supportive throughout ,

2013 was when i realized i could count on my mum for emotional support and more than anything, her advices were the best and most comforting, so thankful!!


And also around that timing, i first stepped into HOGC for Davy Liu's talk thanks to my sis and Trisha, which was the most impactful among the others he gave, then i started to meet Alvina and Alexis.. then Cherie, then slowly, more and more of the HOGC people.

Jogged consistently w Pei Yun dear

then i also changed my job from SSB to Marugoto Shokudou and met Vincent!! ahha and i met him unexpectedly on a trip on the bus once :) wow.

In school i met 4 groups of people : my class, half of dmat 03 , my cca mates ;) abit of other peeps from other class :)

And broke up was on 19may so 19 was a stupid number
ad 18nov was his bdae,so 18 was also a stupid number
(then)

then i became obsessed over quotes on getting over or emoness

June was not better just getting over and working to help myself,

and July 7, i quit :> YAY

Ohh and July  was when i had my first Gen Ed group mates, so glad i get to work w Cherry, Eiris, Christabel and Kevin


and on the later half of July i got really close to Kevin cause both of us knew esther and were damn lame ahaha


August was beautiful thanks to him

clementi,
Aldersgate methodist his church mates,his Boy's Brigades mates, his family, beef broth, running tgt, ginger beer, ndp, sushi, music, jokes, poop, photographs, lunch,homework, skype, avocado milkshake, queenstown,
tuition, night talks , struggles , comfort, tears

September was alright too :) but things got shitty after i my trip to my cousin's house


Sang and got closer to my cousins, sang yellow w Ted, did art w Trish played w their parrots, had my first movie w Kev and then i dropped the sweet popcorn (i still feel guilty about tt) haha we watched red 2 which was super funny:) and cool

and after my working 3 days at F1 (got to know a bunch of peeps:)) Chermaine jio me to help, so i needed the money and went haha and it was around the building fund period :)

Met, Lu Jie ( Chermaine's bro best friend.i think he has that rich face but LOL), and Xian Bing (Chermaine's Cousin), Wen Kang (Xian bing's best friend since pri:)) and is my senior at SP woohh but business school lah. HAhA and chermaine's long lost kindergarden friend (R U SERIOUS,she damn chio), and wallas and brendan which i didnt talk much to,

OH AND THE PPL in charge of checking the pass :) man was it cool to know them!
AHAH i miss Dennis!! he's damn cool and the first person i found cool to have that weird goatee sprouting from his chin AHAH
 then Alexis which knew my cuzzy and Charlie and that 36 yr old guy which was doing finance something, and the guy who dies watches and the other guy who didnt have fun guessing fuzzy wuzzy HAHA


was great, so was the pay :D

and F1 was loud..


ahaha then assignments started to bug me because my GPA sucked

around then , kevin and i drifted, haha he seemed colder, i dont know why.

the last time we met was when he tried to teach me guitar
 then came

" you shouldn't depend on securities on others"

then boom, splat. i said something wrong by text in the heat of the  moment then
there goes.

heartache number 2


HAHA then yeah from october till 20 plus dec was turmoil, why couldnt he blocked me from the start ya? i keep getting reminded every few weeks , but i guess i had no control over this, so be it :)

 KNOWING GOD!! <3 p="">Chionging GDP w MX
Going K w the lovelies



and our family had watch our first movie : frozen tgt!!

then assignments was hectic but i love TANI because Mr iswan was ful of compliments and AFI,


then nov i started follow up and ~~~met more hogc people and dec was when i met alot of people  love :) so happy all on Insta !! hee hee

 and VAF group was perfect for me, im super thankful for tt too :) and new friend : Sulhan, Dan's bestfriend acting for us in our Sushi Showdown :)

BOUGHT A BOOK ONLINE : JESUS> RELIGION
Zoo with Perseverance!
John Yeo confessed
Learning that im still welcomed to Master's
meeting the clique for a while haha
karaoke w Sabapathy Question
Meeting Hui Shi
Movie w Regina
6B gathering


2013 was like coffe , bittersweet.
 thanks ya'll :)
Thank You God




i know that there is so much more that i didnt add but :) ya'll know i'm loved
and i know it too.

Thankful for 2013, i experienced i learned i changed :)


i played a melody at 3:50 PM
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