Friday, December 27, 2013

Hey, missed me?

haha I bet not, but whatevs. hahah ~

anyway, sigh.

I dont know where to start because I have no idea what's going on.

But im just having a conflict in my mind , which I don't think I should have but
it's there.


Anyway before I start ranting, updating, feeling, overflowing..

I'm listenin' to James Blunt on spotify, Album- All the Lost Souls

Haha it's good, next to James Morrison's :)
1973 is mah fav :))


Here's the lyrics:


Simona
You're getting older
Your journey's been
Etched on your skin
Simona
Wish I had known that
What seemed so strong
Has been and gone
[Chorus:]
I would call you up every saturday night
And we both stayed out 'til the morning light
And we sang, "Here we go again"
And though time goes by
I will always be
In a club with you
In 1973
Singing "Here we go again"
Simona
Wish I was sober
So I could see clearly now
The rain has gone
Simona
I guess it's over
My memory plays our tune
The same old song
[Chorus x3]
And though time goes by
I will always be
In a club with you
In 1973



Hahaha oh and here's what is playing and I like as well


Same Mistake


Saw the world turning in my sheets and once again I cannot sleep.
Walk out the door and up the street; look at the stars beneath my feet.
Remember rights that I did wrong, so here I go.
Hello, hello. There is no place I cannot go.
My mind is muddy but my heart is heavy. Does it show?
I lose the track that loses me, so here I go.
And so I sent some men to fight, and one came back at dead of night.
Said he'd seen my enemy. Said he looked just like me,
So I set out to cut myself and here I go.
I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice.
Give me reason but don't give me choice.
'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again.
And maybe someday we will meet, and maybe talk and not just speak.
Don't buy the promises 'cause, there are no promises I keep.
And my reflection troubles me, so here I go.
I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice.
Give me reason but don't give me choice.
'Cause I'll just make the same mistake,
I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice.
Give me reason but don't give me choice.
'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again.
Saw the world turning in my sheets and once again I cannot sleep.
Walk out the door and up the street; look at the stars.
Look at the stars fall down.
And wonder where did I go wrong.




I think i'll just blog till my laptop is about to die

nothing new abt the situation,cept that im blocked, haha im sorry, yes, im aware


but whatever

i dont need this bullshit anyway

it cant be helped

i'll just be patient and well, its God's timing

well yeah, i may feel unhappy uneasy about it but i cant do anything about it


Haha wow current song wait i needa get the lyrics waiitttt...


"I Can't Hear The Music"







Hahaha i'm stronger now, abit, at least i dont break down when i realized u blocked me, just stinging , the feeling is just stinging.


i guess it's for the better right?


i hope u do feel better whatever youre doing to find peace w yourself


i m trying as well, but not in the same way as u are


haha that is something i guess i wouldnt bear to do even to my ex.


stupid but ha.



im strong enough, my God's strong enough to help me through this

I wna see how bad this thing can bring me down,

and i wanna say its doing a great job so far,

im procrastinating because im so conflicted i cant do anything else


once im at home, on social media

i just


overthink


choke myself up w so much shitty emotions

hmmmm

were u reading my blog? because before u blocked me on twitter, u were tweeting such familiar phrases that i just had to check


maybe u did, then again maybe u didnt

and it is just me over thinking


Aish, overthinking dont help here..














Anyway, ive let this affect me on my xmas week, how great , hope the new year is better HAHA

although it does not even feel like a new year anymore

ugh


hmm
this year's celebration was lacking in so many family members

:/ that's quite a sad sight, but there's an additional : Lovelle :) So cuutteeeeee


then i went to stroll (SQUEEZED) along orchard w huishi dear after twg .. it couldve been more amazing because the lights this year wasnt that nice and there wasnt awesome performances ahah



then i went to watch 47 ronin w Regina today, So happy to see her!!!! :)))) heehee and yeah gna watch hobbit next time.. im dying.. i wan hobbit :((((((((


i want to buff my nails

and cut it hahaha

Hey world's wonderful but i cant really feel that some how


which leads tooooo ... James Morrison's


WONDERFUL WORLD





Messy messy lyrics but ah~,


Im feeling a little more encourage now, i will not torture myself because of you, or the fact that u under torture of ur own mind hurts me as well, it not that i dont care

i wish there was i way for me to help u remove it , that overthinking part

but i cant and i dont know how

so im gonna heal myself first, before i can learn how to help others,
i gotta tend to my self 

i need healing and comfort as well

back to you God :)



Have a nice life , y'all.


i played a melody at 11:12 PM
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Friday, December 13, 2013

and I was initially convinced that I wasn't affected much by your actions

I knew unfollowing me on Twitter and Insta meant that u really didn't need to know updates about me
you literally wanted to get as far away from me as possible.

I thought I took it well, I thought it didn't matter much.

I pushed thoughts away as much as possible

because I have no flipping clue what was going through that mind of yours

I called, I texted, I apologized


this is like my second time being forcefully coldly rejected by people I actually cared about and loved and made time for


how would I know if your recent tweets might have been directed at me.

I didn't want to read too much into things,

I didn't wanna assume

I didn't wna get my hopes up

thinking that you'd still actually thought about the situation too

all I know is that u really didn't wna care

but apparently


you're still worked up abt the situation for
some reasons of yours


but I have no idea

no idea at all


it's only tonight that I realized you've unfriend me on facebook as well?










if you're hating on me and determined to leave me

why would I wna show u how weak I was about it?

no matter how unaffected I may seem abt it

it's

Definitely a front

why would I show someone who is against and not for me my weak side?

wouldn't that be dumb?


I don't know man




















so tonight, i'm hurt 
I definitely am

and I don't have a room to go to
 to hide my tears

now my family is asking what's wrong

and it'll be so troublesome to explain












im just really tired for holding up this front
















all I know is that I need God more than ever now


i played a melody at 10:59 PM
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Friday, December 6, 2013

Hey,

Yeah, im back and ive just handed in my draw.. but I still have Trad Animation to do haha 200 words report.

Mhmm hmm

just had lunch w Winnie at Fc3 , stir fried :) Yep delicious. and I bought Avoc milkshake

Listenin to Robbie William now :)


But the weather is super cold haha and im wearin a skirt today Q-Q

and cello's cancelled today.. aw.. so i'll have to wait till 6pm for eiris here, at the area around the auditorium haha

but it's a really nice weather though


haha ouh and btw, I recently dl-ed an app called chatnow and met this new friend "Ali Shah" Canadian apparently

haha cool guy but we only kik-ed a few times so far


anyway, ytd, I saw like 2 pairs of my friends having heart to heart talk at night, outside of the forge

and


I thought of u.

when I laid on your lap,

and we'd make fun of each other

it was nice while it lasted


but thoughts like these are useless

no matter how many times it'll pop up out of nowhere in my mind

now

it doesn't matter anymore


{DRAMAMAMA LA WALAO MIND PLEASE SHURRUP}


Hahaah Candy by RW is playin now haha damn nice :)


"She thinks she's made of candehhhhh "



Dec is gonna be one hellofa busy man, and I dk  if I can make it to master's hse now.. wah I feel damn bad really.. :/


I wanna do so many things.. but I don't know how to and where to start..

Robbie, your voice is nice but I don't feel distracted enough :/


I'll update again next time:)


i played a melody at 2:34 PM
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