Monday, February 24, 2014

I'm not sure if it's safe to put my blog link on my twitter account.. cus i'd be naming people in my real life, not back stabbing but more of sharing my opinion... if u feel insulted, here's my apology in advance. im just ranting things u wouldnt want to hear and things that goes through my brain



So yeah today is the day i finish maya i don't know if my report was written properly cus i had to finish it in a rush.

Feeling good that im over and done w all them assignments

but

i feel shitty that i pissed off my friends



if they still think of me as friends

i dont know man, they pissed each other off at times

but i never fail to feel that all of them agree that they don't like me to a certain extent


winnie told me i had an attitude problem


i wish i had an attitude



well, i pissed min ru off cus my maya sucked and i wasn't panicking

but i dont see the reason of panicking when it ever does to me for most of my life was screw things over

i dont know .. the normal asking routine i guess,

when i ask something i really dont know.

they say it's a stupid qn and be all so shock and pissed off and mad that i never knew

i know it's basic knowledge, but i really lack that

i admitted, and i know i dont try as hard.. im really sorry for that


but when i dont ask

they talk to me in way that they're pissed that i didn't ask and im just wasting time trying to figure something that was going  no where


and they are very open about being pissed at me..

do people usually do that?

Judge so quickly? to think that they know better so quickly just based on what they see?

But im used to this


so im feeling neutral like cus

people do that all the time don't they?


cus they feel that when ur dumb in certain aspect, they think u're like that in every area of their lives

but im afraid that nt true.


that's why i tend not to judge too fast
when i see someone like me or people who has similar traits


I've always believed that there is a open and funny side to every quiet person, a serious side to a person jokes too much, a gentle side to a person who seem so cold on the outside, a lonely side to a person who has too many friends,  a contented side to a lonely person.


that's why i appreciate people who don't judge too fast.


but at the same time, i dont really like it if people are blinded by their thought of what u could be than what u really are.



idk winnie said that kim was pissed of at me too.. but i personally dont think im that close to her to piss her off, maybe she's just agreeing to winnie's feels

maybe


argh..







i dont know, if im really that bad

i really wish i do change, but if im okay

pls let me get better at things im not good at and is struggling w

but still

instill that gentleness in me i really need that when facing alot of bullshit i never thought that i would wna take


ate jap food w eiris and winnie today and drank beer mhmm :)




MAYA was really good looking :)



























but maybe i really do have an attitude problem, what do i do then?

do they feel and say that out of concern or irritation?





i have a fear of changing to please poeple
because i have been doing that all of my life and i dont wna do that
i dont think it's worth doing these for people hu thinks that i'm never good enough
if im ever changing, it is to reflect who God is

i really hope and wish, really really really
i wna learn to be strong for u God.


i played a melody at 11:22 PM
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