Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Okay, first off, I wanna apologize for not blogging to update the previous post as promised but ive got something more current to talk about


I called

yes I did, I called

Kevin

I mean, it was a now or never thing

if I wasn't going to call,

I was never.

texting is just bullshit insincere

and I doubt i'll be able to ask him to meet me
(and I didn't have the need to anyway)

And guess what?

I was glad he picked up
I was glad he didn't sound cold at all

although what I said was so much lesser than intended.

at least I did,

given the fact that I was scared as hell

scared as hell this wasn't something I should do
scared as hell this wasn't the right timing to call
scared as hell he wouldn't pick up
scared as hell if he did ,I would blank out
scared as hell I didn't put through what I intended to say
scared as hell I'd break down

But of all I wanted to tell him about,

I guess it was summed up in my short sorry

I knew what I wanted to say
but I didn't know how to say them

trying to salvage a friendship
is hard
esp
when i'm such a prideful and ignorant fool

esp when I may not even deserve that friendship

maybe I was doing something stupid
but stupid is all I have been doing.
might as well do it,
wouldn't hurt shit

and I would have regretted more on not calling than calling

it's a risk I would take
for friends

the result doesn't matter

at least I did follow my heart and mind


mhmm, at least my mind is off this thing.
I guess im more at ease now

well yeah

not gonna go on social media if possible,
for the night

God, I've done all I can, it may not be the best but this is just the most I can do out of my state, the rest is up to you.

Thank you for the courage
Thank you for being the perfect person I could confide to
Thank you for listening
Thank you for just being who you are



__________________________________________________________________________________



okay on a lighter note, my ear hole is slightly infected thanks to the easily corroded earring
ahaha so thankful the ear hole didn't fully close so I managed to slide the earrings back into it without feeling pain

mhmm

there's prayers meeting today but I didn't go
my parents wouldn't allow anyway
and i would be stand there feeling lika awkward penguin at some point of time (but tt's not the main point)


today was kinda cool, in the morning we had 3DF and Alfred taught us how to use mud box, cant wait though I haven't even finish the head and the uv unwrapping (cry)

hah then it was Gen Ed , Wan Ning's rabbit, Norman's bracelet ,Jun's nail clipper , Joash's dog allergy, Christabel's Diary , Qin Yan's TCM, Eugene's robotics, Jia Qi's trip to Japan, Izyan's rugby cca, Kev's cca


yeap that's it
and I have to find a song or art piece for the next presentation
LOOOLLL

and then we have TANI

head rotation, gonna stay back tmr AGAIN
(oh its called a turn table)
asfghjkl

hahah


ohh I should about yesterday today:)


YEAAP we had vaf and we made a video short comedy video ahahha

awkward awkward and embarrassing but hey I had the funnest time of my life!!! hahaha


okay I hate the fact that it takes so long for the video to load on blogger so I think i'll just give the link here




//then I knew I could never out run
nor out wait
this nagging conscious
yeah, i'm scared
to face rejection
confrontation
or the plain truth
but hey, this is life and I'm 17
how bad can I regret doing something that I would regret not doing just because I was afraid of being judge or the inevitable outcome?
im still young , so many regrets to have and mistakes to make, might as well do those that are worth it no? :)
yeah, it may hurt a while
but I wont regret it :)//



anyway here's the video link, but you're only able to view it if im friends w you on FB lol haha

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10202536147073327&comment_id=6972379&offset=0&total_comments=2&notif_t=mentions_comment



okay my eyes are still swelling from crying a little just now,
feeling so tired now haha

Background song : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dziczpYl94

Jesus Culture has some great songs!

oh oh and on Monday, I had dinner w Winnie and Cassandra whaahaah best time ever WAHHHH

wah abit scary... internet got problem..








i played a melody at 11:54 PM
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