Wednesday, October 23, 2013

I'm aware enough to not let this sadness bring me down to depression
and that's a good thing
I can't believe I've lost a friend who was initially so afraid to lose me and so ready to trust me..
but then again, that maybe feigned.
how many people do that just to try to get closer to someone eh? I really thought I could trust him but no. I almost wanted to believe him when he said he would never get tried of me. Almost, because I somehow get the feeling that this kind of friendship wouldn't last, no matter how much I want it to.
But I gave in to my unguarded heart once again.

Well, not like I've never been hated before.. my best friend hates me ahah but we always get over that after a period of time.

I mean haters gonna hate, and I don't need to know why, because even if I do, what am I gonna do about it ? How the hell would you expect me to change for a hater? I don't live to please people who don't appreciate me for being me.

The more I think about the situation, the more I find it really ridiculous.

and how the hell is it my fault?

and I wasn't even all over him... talk about super sized ego please.

Forget it ,
really

a friend that gives you up so fucking easily?

Talk about fair weather or in the heat of the moment friend

Bull shit

What promises eh?

what problems eh?

yeah, I may really want you to stay my friend because I don't like awkwardness and conflict,

but hey, please work on your ego, I don't NEED you in my life


and yeah, I may have planned my time around you before when we were still good, but I was dumb then, I was still having priorities issues. I didn't know what was important what was not, I haven't actually knew what God wanted for me, but now that I have God in my life, my POV did change a bit, and yeah, talk about not placing securities on people.. weren't you the same? I thought you would've understood better.

Yeah I may sound like I really dislike you, but im willing to let it go, maybe even forgive your really bad attitude .
then again I kinda see that , maybe that's why you think many people left you
I doubt your friends would ever leave you, you pushed them away when u get bored of them
and then you wallow in self pity about all the failed friendships you have

you feel tied down by some friends, and instead of working it out, you flick them away, cut them out, like trash.. I mean, if that is how u treat friends u cant handle, w/o the least bit of care

that's just immature.. even my primary school friend could do so much better than that.

yeah, you may use your "introverted" excuse, but being introverted and cold/aloof are totally 2 different things.

hey, I tried to talk to you, I tried to find out why, but hey, if you're gonna give up on this friendship so easily, I don't see the point trying either.

Yeah you may say, "I don't even WANT you to try. Get off my back and shut up."

who ever in the world told you I wouldn't stop? I will. and I've just.

Because I cherish friendship a lot, more then u think I do. Yeah, you may use the initial conflict I had w Winnie to try to argue w me , but hey, she knows me to the crack of my bone.

and you, you don't even compare to her by anything, now that I see who u are

she, knew that I am annoying to the heart break of her, but didn't give up on me, she almost man she almost, but she held on, so she is dear to me, someone I wouldn't give up on in years, someone I would trust my being to and wouldn't mind even if she broke a bone / two of me.

you're not worth the rant, but im ranting because I need an outlet


well feels good after a runt and im glad that I was using a lot of vulgarities (I know I did a few) in the post , YAY kudos to mee:)





i played a melody at 4:09 PM
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